Letting Kids Fail: Why Resilience is a Skill Every Child Needs
Letting Kids Fail: Why Resilience is a Skill Every Child Needs
In a culture that often prioritizes achievement and perfection, it can feel counterintuitive for parents to let their children fail. However, failure is a natural and essential part of life, and learning how to navigate it builds resilience—a skill that will serve children well into adulthood. Parenting experts are now emphasizing the importance of stepping back and allowing children to face challenges, as highlighted in a recent article on MSN.
Read the full article on MSN
Why Failure is Crucial for Building Resilience
Resilience—the ability to recover from setbacks and adapt to challenges—is an invaluable skill for children. It equips them with the tools to handle disappointment, solve problems, and grow into self-reliant adults. When parents shield their children from failure, they unintentionally deprive them of opportunities to develop these critical life skills.
According to the article, when children face failure, they learn to regulate emotions, assess what went wrong, and try again with a new approach. This process not only strengthens problem-solving skills but also fosters a growth mindset, where children view obstacles as opportunities for improvement rather than as insurmountable barriers.
The Psychology of Resilience
Research supports the idea that resilience stems from exposure to manageable challenges. According to a study published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, children who are given the chance to fail in a supportive environment develop greater emotional regulation and self-efficacy. They also tend to experience lower levels of anxiety and higher confidence as they grow.
Conversely, overprotection can hinder a child’s ability to handle stress, leading to difficulties in coping with failure later in life. The American Psychological Association (APA) emphasizes that resilience is not an inherent trait—it is cultivated through experience, reflection, and guidance from caregivers.
Explore resilience insights from the APA
Real-World Applications of Resilience
Imagine a child who struggles with a challenging math problem. Instead of solving it for them, a parent can sit alongside and say, “I see this is frustrating, but you’re working hard. Let’s think about how you might approach it differently.” Through this process, the child learns perseverance, problem-solving, and emotional regulation—key components of resilience.
This approach also extends beyond academics. Whether it’s learning a new skill, dealing with friendship conflicts, or overcoming disappointment in sports, resilience equips children with the confidence to face life’s hurdles head-on.
How Parents Can Support Resilience
- Normalize Failure
Teach your child that failure is a normal part of life and an opportunity to learn. Share stories of your own challenges and how you overcame them to model resilience. - Encourage Problem-Solving
Instead of immediately stepping in to fix problems, ask open-ended questions like, “What do you think you could do differently next time?” This empowers your child to develop critical thinking skills. - Provide Emotional Support
Acknowledge your child’s feelings of frustration or disappointment without judgment. Offer reassurance that setbacks are temporary and part of the learning process. - Celebrate Effort Over Outcomes
Shift the focus from results to effort and improvement. Praise your child for their persistence and determination, even if the outcome wasn’t what they hoped for.
A Takeaway for Parents
Letting your child fail is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. By allowing them to face challenges and supporting them through the process, you’re helping them develop resilience, independence, and a growth mindset. As the MSN article wisely points out, resilience is a skill every child needs to navigate an unpredictable world.
Encourage your child to embrace setbacks, celebrate their efforts, and remind them that failure is not the end—it’s a stepping stone to growth.
References
- “I’m a Parenting Expert, and I Want Parents to Let Their Children Fail”
https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/parenting/i-m-a-parenting-expert-and-i-want-parents-to-let-their-children-fail-resilience-is-an-important-skill-for-all-kids/ar-AA1pgOLV - Building Resilience in Children
https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience - Exposure to Challenges and Emotional Regulation in Childhood
https://acamh.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jcpp.13207
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